Hamas Confronts Radical Islam: World Puzzled

RAFAH, GAZA - On Friday, Hamas failed in an attempt to arrest the leader of Jund Ansar Allah, or Soldiers of God's Best Friend. This radical Islamic group is considered too radical for terrorist organization Hamas. Baffled world leaders sought clarification from Cairo University's Doctor Hassam Abu Fayyad. Doctor Fayyad explained, "Hamas wishes to see Israel destroyed and the Palestinian people returned to the land. Jund Ansar Allah (JAA) also wishes to see Israel destroyed, but they want the land destroyed too, especially the dirt. In fact, JAA wants new dirt standing by in trucks so no one will have to wait around once Israel and the old dirt are destroyed. Don't laugh. You'll be killed." Other demands of JAA include a return to 7th century Islam, and a non-negotiable demand that everyone in the world smoke and talk loudly. Doctor Fayyad shrugged, "I would advise the world to go to the movies. This stuff will hurt your head." (Photo: news.bbc.co.uk)