Bikini Brawler Inspires 'UFC with Fries'

LAS VEGAS, NV - In a desire to cash in on a viral video, mixed martial arts giant Ultimate Fighting Championship has announced a new cable series where MMA matches occur in a ring designed to look like a Florida Burger King. Called UFC with Fries, the series will feature an arena with a stainless steel counter, napkin dispensers and several uniformed employees, one of whom will be an MMA-trained fighter. "Fast food brawls are hot right now but they're amateur hour—poorly shot and lacking promos," said UFC spokesman Jerry Crawford. "We're gonna dial things up a notch."

In addition to the venue, another new wrinkle would involve introducing only a single combatant. Crawford explained: "If referee Big John McCarthy introduces, oh, say, Stephan Bonnar. Bonnar enters the arena, jumps up on the counter and starts trashing the place. However one of the "employees" is actually, say, Forrest Griffin. The next thing Bonnar knows, he's being choked out by the soda machine."

Crawford was excited at the partnering options presented by UFC with Fries. "One week the arena could look like a Taco Bell while the next week could be Hardee's. Then there's merchandising like foam rubber napkin dispensers kids can throw at home." Depending on the success of the new series, Crawford said UFC is searching for a Charlie Sheen vehicle. "We're in talks with his people right now, but there are worries about overexposure. There's a shelf life for the professionally dysfunctional and Charlie could be edging past his."
(Image: Deseret News)