Japanese Urged to Try Rioting

NEW ORLEANS, LA - Frustrated by televised scenes of orderly Japanese waiting for water and other supplies, a New Orleans resident has urged the Japanese people to riot. "What are they waiting for?" said Charles Green, 41. "A written invitation?" Green felt that by refraining from looting and attacking fellow citizens the Japanese were missing out on a golden opportunity to shake loose some tension." Green referred to images of police helping Japanese victims instead of ransacking a store and fleeing with lap tops. "Short-sighted," said Green. "That's free stuff. Plus rioting is like a good long run. It releases what I call 'riot endorphins.'" Green hoped the U.S. government would dispatch self-absorbed, unruly Americans to Japan. "They could teach those Japanese to loosen up a little." Green thought  Charlie Sheen would be a good choice as well as a large portion of the Wisconsin Teacher's Union. (Image: Snopes)