Bin Laden's Body Stuffed, Propped Outside NYC Bar

NEW YORK CITY, NY - Sources close to the White House state Osama Bin Laden's body has been flown to New York City, stuffed with straw, and placed outside Gorman's Tap, a tavern near the site of the World Trade Center. Said Gorman's manager Dan Carmichael, "We bid on it [the body] last week, beat out a carnival in Georgia, and had it delivered by UPS a few hours ago. We're charging a buck to be photographed with the skinny dead bastard." According to sources Bin Laden's body was prepared by a taxidermist who mostly works with tarpon. "He's [Bin Laden] got black beady marbles for eyes," said Carmichael, "and  they put him on a wooden plaque. But that's Okay. He's where he's supposed to be."

UPDATE: Carmichael disputes the current 'buried at sea' meme zipping around the Web. "We take him [Bin Laden] in at night, but he's still here. Once the novelty wears off I'm giving him to my cousin in Queens. He's a got a barber shop and thinks a famous dead terrorist outside will help business. I'm not so sure, but I think Charlie Sheen is freaking hilarious, so what do I know?"
(Image: the peoplesvoice.org)