Cannes Film Festival Kidnapped by Aliens, World Okay

CANNES, FRANCE - Stunned onlookers reported a vast alien space craft descended over the city and fired a ray of unknown origin that engulfed the entire 64th Annual Cannes Film Festival. The monstrous spacecraft, reported to be triangular in shape, used the ray to suck the film festival inside its hull then rapidly ascended, vanishing into the clouds. Among the missing are Sean Penn, Woody Allen, a number of French directors and many artistic sophisticates from across the globe.  Reaction among the world's populations has ranged from cautious optimism to a hard-to-pin-down happiness.

In Africa, Harris Okwano of Uganda was grateful. "What if they [aliens] had taken things like corn or animals? This would then have been a very sad day." In Cambodia, Krem Tep felt a delight he could not explain. "Sometimes rats will eat rice. Then a snake comes along and eats the rats. Then you feel good all afternoon." Mrs. Hannah Killian of the United States thought it sad that so many people were missing, but also felt chipper and upbeat. " It's like one minute you have a growth on your neck that leaks corrosive bile and the next minute it's gone. I wonder if all those Cannes people are up in space sneering at the aliens and getting all snotty? That could be a big mistake."
(Images: europaplus.tv & davidreneke.com)