HHS Exempts All Democrats From Obamacare

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Weary of issuing waivers for service unions and cool nightclubs in liberal districts, the Department of Health and Human Services has decreed a blanket exemption for all Democrats from any provision of President Obama's health care plan. "Our waiver process operates under the assumption that no one who runs a business wants this health care plan hung around their neck," said Kate Benson, spokesmen for HHS Secretary Kathleen Sebelius. "So then how do you decide who gets a waiver? We'll if you happen to be an expensive restaurant in Congresswoman Pelosi's district, that's an automatic waiver. Same for any union anywhere. But what of other businesses? How should one decide?" Benson stated that by exempting all Democrats based on DNC donations for the 2012 presidential race, HHS had a clear view of whom to waiver. "Our job is so much easier," said Benson, a satisfied tone in her voice. "Now that all the good people are exempted it leaves only the greedy and selfish. However, if they wish to donate to any of the fine Democratic candidates preparing to run in the next election cycle, then they [businesses] are, by definition, 'good' and would qualify for a waiver. It's sad when people make this process more complicated than it needs to be." 
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