Syrian, Chinese Cops Praise Indiana Supreme Court Decision

DAMASCUS, SYRIA - Police states around the world have hailed an Indiana Supreme Court ruling that citizens have no right to resist unlawful police entry into their homes. "At last, a modern common-sense decision," said Adad Al Hamwi, sniper for Syria's National Security Directorate. Al Hamwi took a moment out from shooting demonstrations in the southern Syrian city of Daraa to comment on the 3-2 decision. "By placing the blame for violent escalation firmly on citizens, the Indiana court has freed up the police to be dynamic and creative. Where is the fun in police work if anyone can defend their home? You couldn't kick in a door, or try out a new battering ram, without some criminal hiding behind this insane American 4th Amendment." Al Hamwi squeezed off two quick shots, dropping a sign-waving protester over two-hundred meters away. "You see the danger I was just in? That sign could put out an eye. That's why it's better for police to have all the rights."

Across the world in Tibet, Chinese Armed People's Police officer Li Feng couldn't have agreed more. "I was beating a monk inside a temple the other day when I thought, 'What if I had no right to storm in here on a whim? Where would the security of the state and the police be then?" However Feng believed there should be limitations. "Authorities should never invade the home of judges like Justice Steven David [who wrote the majority decision]. That would be dishonorable." Asked what recourse Chinese citizens had if the police crashed into their house, Feng paused thoughtfully. "I suppose after several years in the gulag they could write a letter or something. But only if it didn't hurt the feelings of police. Justice David would understand that."(Image: apfn.org)