Homeless Volunteer to Feed Hollywood Stars

LOS ANGELES, CA - As Americans prepare to dine on turkey and cranberries, the nation's homeless have not forgotten those more fortunate than most. Generous homeless have announced that for the second year in a row they'll attempt to deliver simple meals to Hollywood stars. "Didn't work out too good last year," said a homeless volunteer named Gus. "I tried to give a bottle of Mad Dog 20-20 and some Slim Jims to George Clooney but he had a security guard tase me." Salty Sally of the Midnight Mission on San Pedro St. tried to bring a plate of chili and a half bottle of old Bud to Matt Damon. "Old Matt had his housekeeper chase me with dogs and one of 'em ate my comb." The homeless are generally surprised by their harsh reception at celebrity homes. "We never do squat to 'em down here," said Gus. "They're always so nice serving turkey with the TV cameras on." Gus was quick to point out that not all celebrities were jerks. "Kim Kardashian didn't want any boloney but she let me drink out of her garden hose so that was cool."
Image:bum wine