Thursday, March 24, 2011

Raffle Held for Leadership of Libyan War, New Car

BRUSSELS, BELGIUM - With NATO balking at Operation Odyssey Dawn, the Obama administration has announced a raffle with the winner receiving leadership of the Libyan war plus a 2009 Chevy Volt. According to NATO spokesman Giles Vanden Bergh, "Turkey is upset and Germany is also upset. And the Arab League has reversed itself like a crazy man walking backwards. So Washington has asked all NATO members except Germany, Turkey and the U.S. to pick a number between one and 25. That number will be placed in a hat in the Pentagon. Then a number will be drawn. The winner will hopefully assume leadership for coordinating the no-fly zone and maybe have a broad plan of some kind." To sweeten the deal, the White House is throwing in a free 2009 Chevy Volt. With Crystal Red Metallic trim coat and a neutral-with-black-accent interior, the Volt is an LT model and will include an iPod containing an uplifting speech by Michelle Obama to overweight children. Vanden Bergh was ambivalent about the situation. "If Estonia wins the raffle, then we must do what they say. But then someone would finally be in charge. So there's sweetness among the bitters." (Image: Autosavant)

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