Monday, May 30, 2011

Hollywood Misplaces Pro-Iraqi War Films

HOLLYWOOD, CA - On Memorial Day, a sheepish Hollywood establishment admitted they had accidentally lost all films depicting the military in Iraq and Afghanistan in a positive light. "We could only find the films showing G.I.'s as either brain-dead killers or victims of George W. Bush and his criminal policies," said MGM studio exec. Seth Lane. Lane pointed to films such as Green Zone, In the Valley of Elah, Grace is Gone, Redacted and Lions for Lambs as negative examples of Americans fighting in a post-9/11 world.

"But I'm sure we filmed something where our troops weren't depicted as hapless victims but capable of service, honor and self-sacrifice. And I just know somewhere we portrayed the enemy as brutal, vicious, America-hating foes worthy of our steel. But I can't understand where all those movies vanished to. We wanted to honor our fallen vets today by showing all the positive Iraq and Afghanistan war films back-to-back on cable. But now...nothing. It's laughable to think there aren't any such films and that we repaid the trooops' sacrifice by only cranking out anti-war screeds. Our artistic integrity wouldn't allow that. Maybe we left all the negatives in another storage unit?"

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