Monday, May 16, 2011

White House Transparency Witness Disappears

WASHINGTON, D.C. - An evasive White House witness defending the administration's transparency policy vanished from the midst of a congressional hearing, leaving onlookers stunned. "One minute, he's right there," said House staffer Adam Dantonio. "The next second poof! gone; like a magic act." Security checked the floor and seat where the witness, White House aide Daniel Gordon, had been seated invoking confidentiality in response to congressional questions regarding a presidential transparency order. Said Dantonio, "Security couldn't find any trapdoors or flash palm smell. Then they checked the ceiling for a harness, but that didn't play out." Dantonio and others speculated that Gordon was so slippery he may have slid out quietly without attracting attention. "He [Gordon] was like a snake dipped in baby oil. You couldn't get a grip on him. He might have easily oozed from the room. Is there a comic book character who can turn into a slick liquid? If there isn't, someone should draw one and call it 'Gordon Man.'"

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