May Day Rally Calls For More Federal Funding of Rallies

LOS ANGELES, CA - Organizers fretted the low number of Mexican flags at this year's May Day Everyday Rally, which emphasized the plight of illegal immigrant rallies. "Without money how do we buy more Mexican flags, or signs painted with 'Azatlan,' and 'Reconquer the Southwest?'" asked organizer Juanita Renaldo-Melman. Participant emotions ran high this year following the recent passage of an Arizona law declaring illegal immigrants illegal. "A new law cries out for new rallies," said Renaldo-Melman in a lengthy speech, "Without other people's money our lives will be empty of marches. How will we justify college degrees in Racial Resentment and Agitprop? What will we do with stacks of turgid, hysterical fliers? How will we ever transform California into a big fun laboratory for kooky leftist ideas? Wait, scratch that last part." Leaving behind mounds of trash, the rally evertually broke up as Renaldo-Melman thoughtfully watched the crowd disperse. "By education and temperment, I'm only qualified to scream 'racist' and 'Nazi' through a bullhorn. If we don't get more federal money for rallies, I'll end up at home, bellowing at Fox News. My family's already told me to chill. I need a rally, dude."