Thursday, February 24, 2011

Wu Offers Insight into Libyan Crisis

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Congressman David Wu shared thoughts on the recent turmoil in Libya and other Mid-Eastern nations. INI spoke with the Oregon Democrat in his office. Wu was dressed in a very conservative tiger costume.

INI: Should the U.S. Navy be used to evacuate American nationals caught inside Libya?

WU: That's a provocative move and could increase tensions in the region. Why not send someone in a tiger costume? Most people are afraid of tigers and would flee, thus allowing our citizens to escape on a cute old ferry to Malta.

INI: Has the President's response to the crisis been tepid in you opinion?

WU: I think President Obama has behaved thoughtfully, though if he wore a tiger costume he would feel 'big cat power' in his loins and lower back. It would make him glow, take it from me.

INI: I noticed your staff are all dressed in deer costumes with fake antlers. Is there a wildlife-themed party of some kind taking place today?

WU: No. Not at all. Why would you think that?

INI: Our intelligence agencies are either performing poorly or not being heeded as the U.S. seems slow to react to fast-changing events. Your thoughts?

WU: Oh, roar! Roar-roar!

INI: Is there a reason you're jumping on that staffer's back?

WU: I have a hungry tummy and must feast.

INI: Thank you for your time, Congressman Wu.

WU: Don't thank me. Thank the Oregon voters. I represent them.

(Image: AP)

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