Lockerbie Bomber Requests Additional Time in Scottish Jail

TRIPOLI, LIBYA - In the midst of nation-wide chaos, released Lockerbie bomber Abdelbasset Ali al-Megrahi has petitioned the British Government to rearrest him for terrorism. "My cancer is much better now," said al-Megrahi. "I should probably go back to Scotland and finish out my sentence for blowing up an aircraft and killing all those people." al-Megrahi insisted his desire to be confined in Britain had nothing to do with the crumbling regime of Libyan dictator Muammar Gaddafi and the serious fighting raging throughout the country. "I don't follow politics all that much," admitted al-Megrahi. "All I know is what I see on the TV at the gym." Sources state the British Foreign Service is open to the idea provided whoever ends up ruling Libya gives England cheap oil. Said senior diplomat Gonville Heap, "We are quite prepared to reincarcerate Mr. al-Megrahi or deny him entry to Britain. Our decision, of course, would be based on humanitarian principles or a desire for inexpensive oil that is a byproduct of humanitarian principles. Either way, we would appreciate if the Press would focus on humanitarian principles since, at root, that's what drives our policy viz a viz Mr. al-Megrahi. Of course, the families of Lockerbie victims are uppermost in our minds but they don't have any inexpensive oil, so, there."(Image: cdobs.com)