Unions Will Go Door-to-Door and Annoy Voters for Obama

AFL-CIO President Richard Trumka with President Obama prior to playing golf.

ALLENTOWN, PA - With the AFL-CIO prepared to endorse President Obama this Tuesday, labor leaders have announced that union members will go door-to-door and harass anyone who doesn't vote for the President's re-election. Union spokesman Kurt Manlicher of the American Federation of State, County and Municipal Employees stated that the 2012 election is too important to be left to verbal persuasion. "Our union is under attack from lying Republicans who would oppose a lifeguard retiring at age 50 and drawing a pension of $106,000 every year for the rest of his life. What else can you call that but hate?"

According to Manlicher, union members will knock on doors and bother anyone not voting for Barack Obama. Tactics will include over talking, shouting down home owners, chanting slogans, and filming people's angry expressions so they can be spun in the media as proof of anti-union hostility. A spokesman for the Service Employees International Union stated their members will 'slow walk' in front of driveways making people late for work as well camping out on lawns and playing mawkish union songs on a badly-tuned guitar.

Manlicher believes government union workers have an advantage over private sector employees. "Our members can be out all day on union business, drawing full pay and benefits, and no one will even miss half of them. That's what we're fighting for."
Image: New York Times