Playmate Engaged to Aging Libertine

LOS ANGELES, CA - Elderly Man-Tramp Hugh Hefner announced his engagement to 24-year old Playmate Crystal Harris. The eighty-four-year-old Hefner, noted for founding a magazine dedicated to photographing naked women in leg warmers and baseball caps, presented Harris with a ring over the Christmas weekend. Younger by 3 generations, Harris, burst into tears, "We'll have so much to talk about. He can tell me about World War II and the Eisenhower administration." In a more serious vein, Harris added, "But my main task will be to make Hugh's little yacht cap spin, as well as pick up his robes from the dry cleaners." Hefner has vowed not to have sex with other women during the marriage ceremony. Harris was touched by that. "When I heard, I knew Hugh really cared. I mean, really." Harris grew philosophical,  "My marriage to Hugh is based on mutual respect and love and has nothing to do with me raking in big money through death or divorce. We were made for each other—only in completely different historical eras."(Image: SuperiorPics.com)