Friday, December 16, 2011

Corzine Channels Uncle Billy from 'Wonderful Life'

Like Uncle Billy, Corzine's mind is all a jumble.
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Former CEO Jon Corzine referenced popular Christmas film It’s a Wonderful Life by comparing himself to the character of Uncle Billy. “I made a stupid mistake,” said Corzine, during testimony Thursday before a subcommittee of the House Financial Services Committee. “I had 1.2 billion dollars wrapped in a newspaper and was taking it to deposit when I ran into a crabby old man in a wheelchair. I showed him my paper for a brief moment and, the next thing you know, the money was missing.”

Corzine prepares to tie a string around his finger.
Corzine presided over the bankruptcy of commodities brokerage MF Global and has been unable to identify the ‘crabby old man’ whom he claimed stole 1.2 billion dollars in customer funds. “I’d know him if I saw him again,” said the former Democratic senator and governor of New Jersey. “In fact, I’m tying a string around my finger right now to remind me to turn that fellow in the next time he shows up.”

Corzine also attempted to dispel a rumor that every time a bell rings, a Goldman Sachs executive gets caught ripping people off. “That’s simply untrue,” said Corzine. “I’d tell you why but I can’t remember. Oh, my mind is all so muddled.”
 Images: cracked and businessinsider


Tom Ruegger said...

Laughing out loud! I love the news!

Ling Carter said...

Corzine really means well.

He just can't remember.

It must be frustrating.