Boos, Screams Greet Met Opera's 'Tosca' Performed by Bears

NEW YORK CITY, NY - Audience reaction was harsh over Swiss director Luc Bondy's decision to cast brown bears in all the principle roles of 'Tosca.' "No one believed it," said opera critic Mallo Gaines. "Even though they dubbed in singing from an old performance, the bears were nervous and didn't like the lights and noise and started grunting. This was not Puccini." Boos and catcalls turned to screams when the bear portraying Cavaradossi shambled into the audience and cuffed several patrons, flipping them into the air like salmon. After the performance, with ambulances still arriving, Bondy remained defiant. "Some have called me 'textually unfaithful.' But I feel my choice of bears was refreshing and a welcome break from the human-centric dominance of traditional opera. Perhaps it was my way of saying 'we are all bears?' Perhaps not. In any case, we go back to people tomorrow night because we ran out of tranquilizer darts. Will I be blamed for that too?" (Photo: solarnavigator.net)