Thursday, April 14, 2011

GOP Boasts of Future Cuts to Blimp Fleet

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Facing anger from their base over paltry cuts of $352 million in actual 2011 spending, the office of House Speaker John Boehner has issued a press release pointing to bold reductions in the nation's civilian blimp fleet slated for 2014. In part, the release trumpeted a "mandatory rescission in rescission authority based on reappropriations to offset future fiscal years with something written in English but unknowable to ordinary taxpayers." Said Republican House spokesmen Walt Dryer, "As we clearly state in our release, the civilian blimp fleet will be cut by almost 4 million dollars three years from now. That's at least two hanger closings but not the factory that makes mooring lines. Those have been outsourced to Costa Rica but new orders will be severely curtailed." Created in 1942, the civilian blimp fleet was designed as a backup to the military's blimp force. Once handled by the Office of Domestic Airships, the civilian blimp program was folded into the Department of Commerce in 1997. Employing over 6,500 people at 11 hangers around the country, the CBF stands ready to inflate and pilot seven M class blimps should the military ever use blimps again and those blimps become disabled by enemy action. Critics have called the cuts "heartless" and "extreme,"stating they are part of the Republican Party's "War on Blimps."

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