Monday, April 4, 2011

Lindsey Graham New Spokesman for Kraft Marshmallows

WASHINGTON, D.C. - When his senate days end Lindsey Graham has a new job lined up as spokesman for Kraft Marshmallows, thanks to his call for punishing Americans who burn a Koran. "When we heard a United States Senator asking a man be held responsible for torching a Muslim religious book, we knew he was our guy," said Kraft spokesman Arnold Holton. "Our 16 ounce package of Jet-Puffed Marshmallows are so soft and billowy that only a man with a similar spine could do the product justice." South Carolina Republican Senator Graham hasn't officially accepted the position, but Holton is confident Kraft will prevail. "You can't offer a senator money. But you can offer the one thing they crave more than anything—media face time. In any case, if Graham passes we can always get Chuck Schumer."