QUEENS, NY - Spider-Man wonders if President Obama's stimulus package isn't stickier than one of his webs. "A lot of that money is going to political paybacks." Dodging one of Doctor Octopus' tentacles, Spider-Man bounded up a wall, doubled back, and fired a web. "In case you don't know, Doc Ock delivered the Sinister Six for Obama. He was gonna head the Atomic Energy Commission, but then Ock got caught with tax problems. He tried to claim his brain-computer interface was a hobby." As Doctor Ock dodged the web and uprooted the building, Spider-Man swung from a sticky rope to an adjacent rooftop. "Now I hear Ock's getting stimulus billions for research. He'll probably buy an island with an atomic energy plant. I'll have a lot of fun going after him there." Firing a barrage of webs, Spider-Man wrapped up two of Doctor Ock's artificial arms. However, the remaining pair yanked up a fire hydrant and a cement bench, hurling them at Spider-Man. Narrowly dodging the missiles, Spider-Man scrambled down a fire escape. As police sirens wailed, the superhero shook his cowled head, "Things aren't looking good for your friendly, neighborhood Spider-Man. And don't get me started on my 401K."