Tuesday, March 31, 2009
WOODLAND HILLS, CA - President Obama dismissed Oscar Chavez, manager of an Orange Julius after Chavez failed to bring up sales. "I had trouble with my crushed ice deliveries," said a despondent Chavez. "Next thing I know, Obama's on the phone, saying I should've ordered sooner and used more egg whites for a creamier texture." Chavez had been unaware that International Dairy Queen, owner of Orange Julius, received TARP funds, hence the president's no-nonsense approach. "Let Obama come down here and deal with a bunch of little theater actors and high school punks. I bet he forgets the powdered milk. That ain't on no teleprompter."