
CHICAGO, IL. - Four drunken fireman and a drunken notary have been tapped to fill vacant slots at the U.S. Treasury. "We found these guys in an Irish bar on Rush Street, gassed at 11:00 AM," stated an anonymous Treasury source. "They were eager to leave for Washington and wrote out an economic plan on a coaster." Secretary Tim Geithner is expected to approve the hires. "They'll be a good fit," added the source. "In addition to out-of-the-box thinking, the firemen want to cut a hole in Tim's office floor and add a pole. Maybe that'll help."

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