Monday, May 25, 2009

America Deploys Values Shield

WASHINGTON, D.C. - In response to North Korea's nuclear detonation and medium-range missile test, President Obama has deployed the world's first Values Shield. According to White House spokesperson Adrian Flanagan, "The shield consists of weather balloons, each one prominently displaying an important value such as 'No Torture,' or 'Inclusiveness.' This proud display will shame anyone attempting to attack our nation." A North Korean spokesperson declared the Values Shield 'provacative.' "In North Korea we have only two values: Build Big Bombs and Go Starve To Death. To deploy a line of unknown values is to spit in our soup - if we had any." Flanagan remains confident the Values Shield will deter any Taepodong-2 carrying a nuclear warhead. "Balloons and values are our strongest defense. Plus Six-Party Talks; plus not wanting anything bad to happen. Together they spell a safer America." Digg! (Photo:


Dutch said...

I feel safer already, after all values are what made America great! It had nothing to do with abstaining from foreign entanglements, settling a vast continent with industrious, Indian killing pioneers, building up a massive industrial base that supported a military establishment or anything like that. I think it was a gay or lesbian, transgendered pilgrim who stepped ashore at Plymouth Rock and said: "At last we can be inclusive and respect the many cultural differences between our selves and our native America neighbors before we kill them."

Ling Carter said...

"Diversity is our greatest strength." - Emperor Franz Joseph, Austria-Hungary