WASHINGTON, D.C. - Democrat Debbie Stabenow has denied rumors she is the avatar of deceased comic John Candy. "Nonsense," chuckled Stabenow, holding a cigarette and a drink. "That's just crazy talk, heh, heh, heh." However sources close to the senator report she's been hauling around a large trunk and has sold shower curtain rings to Henry Waxman. "Senator Stabenow said these rings were forged by green elves from a magic forest and could stop global warming," said Waxman. "I bought fifty. Who cares if she's a reincarnated actor? These are damn fine rings."