Egypt Blocks Facebook, Twitter; Nation Plunged into 1990s

CAIRO, EGYPT  -  As violent unrest spreads, the Egyptian government has blocked Twitter and limited access to Facebook, Yahoo and Google, hurling the troubled country back into the 1990s. "Demonstrators are having a hard time flirting and sharing jokes," said Memel Fahar of the Mid-East Institute for Social Media in Alexandria. "If this keeps up, people will be reduced to coordinating their revolt through phone calls, letters, or face-to-face." Fahar stated that rioter moral has fallen, especially with the blocking of Google's YouTube. "Demonstrators liked to relax from a day of being shot with rubber bullets by watching barely sentient American teens skateboard into park benches and hurt their nuts. Now this valuable amusement has been snatched from them."

Certain segments of the population, especially in large cities, believe a return to the 90s is not necessarily bad. Said Fahar: "In Cairo, Suez, and Alexandria sophisticated people wonder if we'll again see Moesha and The Tony Danza Show on television. But I believe not." Fahar hopes a determined Egyptian population recovers from government censorship. "Egypt is an old land. We built the pyramids and the Sphinx without texting 'u r hot' to some slut. Our people can always carve odd, two-dimensional drawings into stone. Let the government block that!" (Image: ranker.com)