Thursday, January 6, 2011

Indian Casino Offers Loose Slots, Kali Worship

SANTA BARBARA, CA -A mistake in California law has allowed a New Delhi high priest to open a casino/temple featuring Pai Gow Poker and worship of the goddess Kali. "I applied for a license and said I was Indian," said owner Gopal Tilak. "Truly, there was no falsehood." Tilak's Lucky Kali Casino combines family-friendly gaming with teaching gamblers reconciliation to death and cosmic acceptance. "Some of our most generous slots are located in a special low-light section designed to look like a crematorium," explained Tilak. "Traditionally, this is the best place to show courage and face Kali but no one would go there if they couldn't win a few bucks."

Ultimately, Tilak's goal is to assist the public on their reincarnation climb. "Many of our patrons are low caste, meaning they were born in such a state because of past sins. But if they gamble at the Lucky Kali, they could become wealthy and ascend to a higher caste. If not, they will live out a brute existence of ignorance and fear." Tilak paused, peering around the busy floor with its noisy slot machines and cocktail girls wearing ornate headdresses and costumes with extra arms. "We are better than any Laughlin casino and almost better than Buffalo Bill's in Primm. I adore Kali, but there they have the car in which Bonnie and Clyde were shot. So many bullet holes. And Clyde's shirt is there too. But Clyde is not there. He has been reconciled with Kali." (Image:

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