WASHINGTON, D.C. - Austrian officials have closed their embassy and returned to Vienna following a gaffe by President Obama in which he declared war on that central European nation. "The president was lecturing on the economy, talking about 'eradicating austerity,'" said White House press secretary Robert Gibbs. "Well, there was a teleprompter typo and he read 'eradicate Austria.' When he tried to correct the error, he started stuttering and couldn't stop for six minutes. I think he lost the audience." As the State Department attempts to mediate the crisis, sources in Vienna reported the Austrian army had called up over 90 men and stationed its tank at a likely border crossing.