WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Obama thumped his head against the side of Marine One today, dislodging insulation and sending a rivet flying across the interior, narrowly missing an aide. "The president's head has grown considerably since he took office," said White House spokesperson Adrian Flanagan. "Frankly, I'm a little afraid." Because of size and mass issues, doorways throughout the White House and in many government bureaus and departments have been enlarged to accommodate the president. "Marine One was due to be retrofitted with the larger Obama doors," said Flanagan. "But we had to refit the Oval Office first after his head got wedged in the rest room. Luckily, with the heat cranked up, we waited until he started sweating, then pried him out. I sure hope he quits watching MSNBC."
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