Japan Apologizes For Being Weird

TOKYO – At a televised press conference today, a Japanese government spokesmen apologized to the world for Japan being “so whacked.” “Think about it,” said Tatsuya Takaichi, “we have underwear in vending machines. I could stop there. But we sell nose stretchers and zoos hold escaped rhino drills. I haven’t even touched game shows like Human Tetris and Silent Library.” Takaichi paused to remove his clothes and change into a Sailor Moon outfit. “It finally dawned on all of us: this country is stinking odd. Aren't I a pretty girl?”