Whale Cult Beaches in Bizarre Mass Suicide

TASMANIA - Pilot whales belonging to a controversial cetacean cult, threw themselves on the sand of Anthony's Beach in an eerie but successful quest for group death. Marine biologist Aaron Drury, 46 was saddened. "Think of Jonestown, only with aquatic mammals," said Drury, who had been studying the whales for years. Drury has determined that the whales were members of a strange cult known as Shining Blubber. Led by a charismatic whale called "Blow Hole," the group believed that flying saucers would carry them to a special sea somewhere in outer space provided they all killed themselves. "This is certainly tragic," said Drury. "Now I'll have to go study something else."