Face of Moon New Model for U.S. Economy

WASHINGTON, D.C. - With the passage of healthcare and its many new entitlements, experts believe the U.S. economy will most closely resemble the lunar surface within five years. Said University of Chicago economist Lisa Chin, "Already weak, the economy faces numerous new fees, taxes and mandates which will leach out vitality and render markets similar to our celestial neighbor: rocky, airless, cratered, with half in total darkness." However, the comparison is not 100 percent. Chin posits that since non-resident aliens are exempt from healthcare taxes, many will arrive in the U.S. for a service American citizens will subsidize. "Think of a dry, dusty place but very crowded, with beings from far away galaxies showing up for 'free' healthcare administered by over 500 new bureaucracies, 50,000 new bureaucrats with 16,000 of those working for the IRS. In such a place, economic hustle will be like frozen water at the bottom of a deep crater - something desirable, but impossibly expensive. However, new growth industries may emerge. Examples might include selling 'Procedure Denied' rubber stamps, and teaching Spanish. Psychologically, Chin felt it important that Americans not remember their old economy. "Pretend it was always just like the moon. That may be best." (Photo: Wickipedia)