Circus News Channel Outdraws CNN

LAS VEGAS, NV - Prime-time CNN hosts continue to shed viewers as they lost audience to the Circus News Channel for the first time in network history. Even with healthcare expansion and Haiti coverage, CNN was solidly outdrawn, despite CNC's narrow focus on events of interest to the circus community. Larry King took the biggest hit, plummeting 52 percent in March from 2009, losing in the ratings 26 times to Big Top Headlines at 9 with Walleye the Clown. Even powerhouse CNN anchor Anderson Cooper sustained a beating, losing 46 percent of the key 25 -to-54-year-old demographic to Around the Ring, a panel show of ringmasters, lion tamers and acrobats discussing recent changes in circus law. Said one CNN executive, "There's nothing wrong with our model. We're not changing a thing." However CNN sources confirm that Campbell Brown's 8 p.m. slot has been given to CNC's Hot-Mouth Mike, current host of All Things Sideshow and a noted fire eater capable of projecting flame over 18 feet. Mike's agent wouldn't confirm the move, but did report that CNC's Harney the Geek had been rejected as a host by CNN as being "too similar to Rick Sanchez."