PYONGYANG, NORTH KOREA - Reports have surfaced that hungry technicians devoured the satellite from a North Korean three-stage rocket fired on Sunday. Fearful of losing face, the government ordered the missile launched anyway. After passing over Japan, the rocket plunged into the sea due to the guidance system having been eaten by a North Korean scientist who garnished it with a photograph of kimchi. "There is no starvation in North Korea," said a North Korean spokesperson. "There are only people who think they are hungry whom we shoot."