BENNINGTON, VT - Doctors at Good Council Hospital have reported admitting several children suffering from Hugh Downs Syndrome. This affliction strikes children between the ages of three and eleven, turning hair white, increasing vocabulary, and causing kids to promote a series of miracle health cures. According to pediatric specialist Janet Parrish, "The first child was brought in last week. While being wheeled to his room, he convinced two nurses and a janitor to believe that a powerful anti-oxidant could improve their financial, personal, and physical lives." One mother sobbed, "My nine-year-old daughter said we'd been 'close personal friends for over 25 years,' then made me believe I'd never die if I took an artery-clearing supplement." Because of their rich voices and powerful persuasive arguments, children suffering Hugh Downs Syndrome are kept isolated. Said Parrish, "There's not much we can do except hope and pray. On the upside, the kids will tire of selling each other miracle health cure products and fall asleep watching Sponge Bob Squarepants. That's when we know the worst has passed."