Friday, April 17, 2009

Biden Tests Positive, Withdraws from Graduation Speeches

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Slated to speak at several university graduations, Vice-President Joe Biden has withdrawn after testing positive for steroid use.  A spokesperson for the Vice-President stated Biden hoped drugs would give him a mental edge. "Joe's been in the dog house  for saying goofy things. Obama's had him setting up card tables in the White House basement, then breaking them down. These speeches seemed like a chance for Joe to shine." Biden's drug use was discovered during speech rehearsals. Prior to steroids, the Vice-President called Wake Forest, "Wacky Forest," thought Syracuse was the capital of Ohio, and stated he himself had built the Air Force Academy with "two dollars in my pocket and an old mule named Ken." After injecting steroids, Biden flawlessly delivered his speeches, then tackled an aide hard enough to dislodge several fillings.Digg! (Photo: AP)

1 comment:

Steve Burri said...

UPDATE: We are sorry for the mix up, but Joe tested positive for hemorrhoids, not steroids. The similar side effects (and affects) can be the source for such confusion.