Tuesday, April 14, 2009

TARP Dollars Bolster Bottled Urine Industry

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Proclaimed "too big to fail" by Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner, the bottled urine industry will receive 41 billion dollars in TARP funds. Adrian Zimmer agrees with the decision. "It's all about jobs," said Zimmer, chief lobbyist for the Bottled Urine Industry of America. "People in this field have families." The number of employees working in urine shops and distributorships isn't known precisely, but Zimmer states "it's a lot." And while insiders claimed TARP money was pay-back for the BUIA's enthusiastic support of Barack Obama, Zimmer laughed: "Detractors always say the president's in the pocket of big urine. But that's not true to my knowledge." The BUIA hopes to use TARP dollars to restructure debt and hire a pr firm to improve their image. Zimmer explained: "When people see our product, they think 'piss.' We'd like them not to think that."Digg! (Photo: www.herbal-howto-guide.com)

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