Thursday, April 16, 2009

George Soros Admits He Was Vincent Gardenia

NEW YORK, NY - Busy billionaire George Soros was even busier a few years back, acting in films, TV, and theater under the name Vincent Gardenia. "I like to pretend," said Soros. "Acting allowed me to deliver fabricated lines with total sincerity." Winning a Tony and an Emmy, Soros/Gardenia was twice nominated for the Oscar. "They would never give me the award because none of my characters were retards. Tropic Thunder had it right." In later years, Soros discovered politics fulfilled his need to pretend. "I'm able to convince millions I don't own the Democratic Party the way a boy owns a hamster. And I owe it all to 'Vincent.'"Digg! (Photo: &  


Anonymous said...

Of course! The Soros/Gardenia connection is so obvious now that you mention it. Why didn't I realize this earlier!?

"Interesting News Items" is always way ahead of the drive-by media.

You are to be congratulated for this scoop. May you win a Pulitzer Prize or, at the very least, a Filet'O'Fish sandwich from a McDonald's scratch-off game. I won a Sausage McMuffin from just such a game, but failed to collect my prize before the expiration date. So, if you win a sandwich or a Pulitzer, please make sure you pick up your prize in a timely manner or you'll be out of luck.

Your loyal reader,

Goliath Benson
House of Marshmallows
1420 Front Street
Hempstead, Long Island

Marie Kwabler said...

Thank you, Goliath.

Katie Couric recently won the Cronkite award and a box of Chicken McNuggets.

Given the size of her hips, she'd be better off eating the award.