Wednesday, April 15, 2009

DHS Targets Salvation Army

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The Department of Homeland Security has identified the Salvation Army as a right wing extremist organization. According to Miles Griffin of the DHS Office of Intelligence and Analysis, the classification was based on clear, convincing evidence. "One need only observe their uniforms, religious fervor, and anti-government homeless programs to know the Salvation Army fits DHS criteria for dangerous and disgruntled." In addition to alerting local police departments, Griffin hopes the DHS will receive authority to move against the Salvation Army before Christmas. "I won't allow these radicals to recruit our children, shove them in front of grocery stores dressed like Santa, ringing a bell for charity. Not on my watch, mister." Digg! (Photo:


Steve Burri said...

It's really in cahoots with the Treasury Department. They really just need an excuse to confiscate the loaded donation buckets.

Ling Carter said...

There's also the fear that a Salvation Army veteran will go "rogue" and start collecting for charity in front of 7-11s and doughnut shops.