Hawking Warns Aliens May Be Like Larry King

CAMBRIDGE, UK - Professor Stephen Hawking believes in extra-terrestrial life, but warns it may consist of larger, more powerful versions of Larry King. "In an infinite universe there are infinite possibilities as to how life may develop," said the noted astrophysicist. Hawking suspects sending probes and radio signals into space searching for aliens could lead to trouble for Earth. "Why risk the possibility that aliens developed into gabby, aging cable hosts with advanced technology? What if they started droning on, pandering to celebrities and powerful Democrats, sonorous gab without end? Gab that we were powerless to stop?" Hawking felt it would be wiser if Earth launched probes, but used the address of another planet. "That way we could observe whoever, or whatever, showed up. But who answers an invitation to visit a stranger's home? Larry King would. That's why we must be careful."