Wednesday, April 28, 2010
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Angry over Arizona's new immigration law, Mayor Gavin Newsom banned all travel to the state by a city-sponsored troupe specializing in feces art. "If they want to keep their grant, they'll stay away from Arizona," said city spokesman Dabney Overton. The New Crap Players, who act the works of Harold Pinter on a stage littered with dung, have been performing The Caretaker to sold-out houses in the Bay Area, but had no immediate plans to tour. "I don't know why he [Mayor Newsom] said that. We weren't planning on visiting Arizona or anywhere else," said Crap director Jay Helian. "Besides, we're not really into travel. We'd have to pack all our shit." According to Overton, Mayor Newsom is determined to starve Arizona of the Bay Area's finest city-sponsored art. "If Arizona doesn't repeal their immigration law, they can forget ever seeing Bearded Men in Blue Eye Shadow Dancing While Dressed as Nuns. No way. Too bad. They'll only have themselves to blame."