Saturday, April 24, 2010
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a speech at the White House, President Obama labeled the 1915 massacre of Armenian citizens by the Ottoman Turks a 'historical slip.' "There are times when nations, like problem drinkers, fall off the wagon. Such an event happened to Turkey," said the President. "They stumbled briefly and killed hundreds of thousands of Armenians, but now they've stopped." Despite pulling back from a campaign promise to label the killings 'genocide,' the President's statement irritated the Turkish Foreign Minister. "It is a well-known fact the Armenians overdosed on sleeping pills in the Syrian Desert. Tragic, but is Turkey to be blamed forever? My government was going to present President Obama with a special fez. The tassel featured alternating strands of orange and blue, the colors of the University of Illinois at Champaign-Urbana. But he wants to point fingers so forget it. Nothing. May he slip on a putting green and fall in a sand trap." Obama concluded his remarks by applauding "the indomitable courage of the Armenian people who almost smoke as much as I do."