Ahmadinejad Letter to Obama: 'Where is My Bow?'

WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a cross letter to Barack Obama, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad demanded to know when the President would bow to him. "You are like one of those novelty drinking birds that dips perpetually into a glass of water...except when I show up. I am embarrassed. Every world leader gets a bow except me." Ahmadiejad hoped the President would consider a video conference where Obama might perform his signature bow of deference. "I will incline my head in amusement like everyone else," said the Iranian President. White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs stated the Presidential bow was not for everyone. Explained Gibbs: "[The President] bows only to nations he wishes to sponge money from. Since we don't, as yet, want to borrow money from Iran, the issue is a non-starter." The letter also made reference to Iran's nuclear program which Ahmadinejad described as "only for civilian purposes or incinerating Israel. Nothing more."