Monday, April 5, 2010
HOLLYWOOD, CA - Warner Bros. announced plans to remake sci-fi bomb, Night of the Lepus. The 1972 story of giant rabbits attacking humans in the Arizona desert will be done over in 3-D. "You'll think big, flesh-eating bunnies just jumped in your popcorn," laughed Warner marketing spokesman Dori Ross. Using an expensive 3-D process to rejuvenate a bad film seems risky, but Ross was confident new 'Lepus' will soar. "We're going all-in with the environmental message. Instead of old school fears like overpopulation, we're breaking new ground by attacking soft drink manufacturers. Sodas are the new tobacco." In the 2010 version, the only people killed by giant rabbits are those drinking cans, bottles, and liters of soda. Often, soda-drinking characters escape by hiding, but a carbonated belch gives them away and they're slain by rabbits. Characters drinking spring water or natural fruit juices always escape, no matter how desperate their straits. Said Ross, "We think there's action galore for the teen male demographic and subtle nuanced politics for older female audiences. Still, we need to sneak in a message that sodas are Okay provided you're watching this movie."