Iran Vows Support for Love Your Body Day

NEW YORK CITY, NY - Following its election to the UN Commission on the Status of Women, Iran has promised to promote an international Love Your Body Day. Based on the National Organization for Women's program, the campaign fights unrealistic female body images as promoted by fashion, beauty, and diet industries. "Unrealistic body images lower a woman's self-esteem," said Mullah Bahman Okhovat, head of the Iranian delegation to the commission. "We want women and girls everywhere to know it is 'okay' to be you...provided you cover your whore face and don't ever read." Mullah Okhovat hopes to shift world focus away from what he terms 'feminist side issues.' "What's the point of decrying female genital mutilation, honor killings, and tossing acid in the face of schoolgirls when cosmetic manufacturers grow wealthy selling women on dissatisfaction?" With plans to fund a film on how-to-spot beauty stereotypes, Mullah Okhovat believes the commission is finally on the right track. "Let's create strong, diverse, active women who like themselves. Then let's create strong, diverse women who like serving men. And if they don't like that, they can be quiet and serve men. And if they don't like that, we can hang the sluts from a crane. So you see, there's a lot of work ahead in the field of women's issues."