Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Armless Latina Judge Wiser than Sotomayor

EL PASO, TX - An armless Latina judge has petitioned the President for a Supreme Court appointment, arguing she is wiser than Sonia Sotomayor. "Sotomayor hasn't seen life through my eyes," said Maria Lucinda Perez. "After years of exercise, my feet can grip things like a chimp. I can smack a gavel and flip through legal documents. When things are slow, I can deal a deck of cards and play gin with the baliff. And no one overturns my legal opinions." Perez' appointment faces stiff competition from Sotomayor and a lesbian Latina judge from Florida who communicates through clicks and whistles, and can exhale poisonous gas. Even Perez was impressed, "Damn. Now that's a life experience." Digg! (


takineko said...


Ling Carter said...

Stop by any time.

Anonymous said...

We need a new group of judges to pass judgement on the Supreme Court judges.

These new judges should be called, collectively, the Super Supreme Court. Or maybe just the Super Court. Or the Super Judges of Justice or, I dunno, maybe Judges in Capes. With jet skis.

Anyway, these new super-powerful judges must judge the Supreme Court judges.

The coolest thing about the Super Court judges is that they have pepper spray under their black cloaks, and whenever the Supreme Court judges make some particularly boneheaded ruling, out come the little cannisters and...


...let's just say that after careful deliberation, some rulings simply need to be overturned.

And it's all thanks to...
the super-powered Judges of Justice on the Super Supreme Court!

Cue triumphant music.

Thank You,

L. Euphrates Terwilliger
Chomsky Hospital for the Criminally Insane
Room 2112
East Wing
Nagging Rash Ward
Ten Thousand Palms, CA 90909