Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Feds Control Hasbro, Mandate Cement Checker Game

WASHINGTON, D.C. - After acquiring control of the Hasbro Corporation, the federal government ordered the toy giant to construct cement checker boards and pieces. "This new mandate states that a standard board will be the size of a pavement square," said Hasbro spokesperson Hughie Daniels. "In fact, it will be a pavement square, painted black and red, with cement checkers the size of plates." Daniels stated Hasbro's line of classic toys will also be affected in the coming months by new federal rules. "Because of government changes, some old games will be getting new names," said Daniels, mentioning the Not-So-Easy-Bake Oven with OSHA Compliance Manual, Scrabble with forty percent Arabic words, and Mr. Tuber Head, a pumpkin-sized, iron head with a non-removable iron hat. "I'm not sure on the marketing angle for the new toys," said Daniels. "We're trying out the slogan: 'If It's From the Government, You Know It's Big.' Maybe consumers will think there's value-added stuff here. I guess." Digg! (Photo:

1 comment:

Dutch said...

You should see the new rules for Checkers that came with my game. If the player making the first move doesn't file a Draft Environmental Impact Report in a timely manner, the other player can get a TRO and prevent the comments, amendments and mitigation stage of the process leading to a final EIR from ever occurring. The player of the first move, here in after referred to as the player of the first move, can start an appeals process to amend the TRO to let the recording of comments proceed if he can prove past practice and precedence in the relevant jurisdiction allows it and thereby save substantial fees and the cost of litigation. The process is retroactive but since no one has gotten past the first move the case law in this area is confused.

The section on what happens when a player yells "King Me!" is 1600 pages long and legal counsel is strongly recommended.