In descending order, here are the other highest forms of patriotism :
2. Constructing a giant papier mache head of George W. Bush complete with devil horns and Hitler moustache and placing it on the roof of your home.
3. Riding a bicycle naked for peace with hundreds of other unappealing naked people and blocking traffic so people with jobs can't get home.
4. Screaming at the TV for the war to stop so violently that the police show up and Taser you.
5. Placing a bumper sticker on your Prius that says, "War Hurts a Lot and Makes Me Full of Sad Beans."
6. Hanging a blow-up photo of a hundred, fat, middle-aged, naked women forming a peace sign up in your cubicle at work.
7. Volunteering as a human shield at an anti-war craft fair.
8. Attending an anti-war film so mawkish and clunky even the enemy won't go see it.
9. Dying in combat by friendly fire or a self-inflicted wound.
10. Faking military service in order to tell the media about the time you and your squad made Hot Pockets out of kidnapped Iraqi children. (Photo: www.nogw.coma)