NEW YORK CITY, NY - After evening news ratings fell to their lowest ever, CBS announced anchor Katie Couric would be replaced with footage of an aquarium. "This is a temporary measure," said network executive Schyler Benning. "We're examining how CBS presents the news and looking for an upside." The aquarium footage is from YouTube and shows a teenager feeding his piranhas live mice dressed as scuba divers. "Kinda cute, kinda sick," said Benning. "But our key demographic - what's left - really digs it." ABC News also suffered historic low ratings, but have stated they support anchor Charles Gibson. Benning was sceptical. "They're doubling down on 15. I have a friend [at ABC] who said they're replacing Gibson with YouTube clips of a huge wolf spider eating a rat. For now, the only way Gibson will ever see airtime again is if he's killed and eaten by a giant anaconda. And I heard the network wants to film it so they have ancillary rights. But that could be a rumor." (Photo: www.tvgasm.com)
I'd watch if they threw Katie in with the piranhas although with her choppers the match would be a toss up. I can't imagine the humiliation those fish are feeling after being forced to appear on CBS, where's PETA when we need them.
NEW YORK CITY, NY - After evening news ratings fell to their lowest ever, CBS announced anchor Katie Couric would be replaced with footage of an aquarium. "This is a temporary measure," said network executive Schyler Benning. "We're examining how CBS presents the news and looking for an upside." The aquarium footage is from YouTube and shows a teenager feeding his piranhas live mice dressed as scuba divers. "Kinda cute, kinda sick," said Benning. "But our key demographic - what's left - really digs it." ABC News also suffered historic low ratings, but have stated they support anchor Charles Gibson. Benning was sceptical. "They're doubling down on 15. I have a friend [at ABC] who said they're replacing Gibson with YouTube clips of a huge wolf spider eating a rat. For now, the only way Gibson will ever see airtime again is if he's killed and eaten by a giant anaconda. And I heard the network wants to film it so they have ancillary rights. But that could be a rumor."
(Photo: www.tvgasm.com)
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I'd watch if they threw Katie in with the piranhas although with her choppers the match would be a toss up. I can't imagine the humiliation those fish are feeling after being forced to appear on CBS, where's PETA when we need them.
Lucky for the fish, no one will know.
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