Cap and Trade Promises New Fun Dark Age

WASHINGTON, D.C. - With congressional passage of Cap and Trade, hermits, old hippies and weirdos are standing tall after years of ridicule. "Subsistence living rocks," said Miles Gallipto, who resides in a yurt in the New Mexican desert. "With new taxes coming, people will be forced to conserve energy by not using any. Then he who owns a yurt will be king." In Springfield, Mo., Jubal Munch has endured laughter for living in a dog-hide shack and eating crows. Munch looks forward to seeing fellow Americans stumble in the blackness. "They won't think to cover their shins with old magazines. But I'll hear 'em yelping, then throw Coke bottles at the sound." Congressman Henry Waxman was proud of the bill's passage. "What a gift we've given the American people: the gift of summer camp, every night for the rest of their coal-deprived lives." (Photo: blogs.earthlink.net)